On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
false alarm, still single
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
