I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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