it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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