Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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