If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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