Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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