How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
