Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
