Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
