I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
