yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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