Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
