p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
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