She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
