I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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