I wanna passion pit in your ass
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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