Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
