Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
