Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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