Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
