So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
if i died would you start the facebook group?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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