what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
