All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Boobs speak an international language.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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