As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
He has the fingertips of a God
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