Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
