I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Sex in the backyard? Check.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
