this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
