You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
