I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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