he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
