Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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