if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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