i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
accomplished twins. life is a go
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
