Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
