i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
