woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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