I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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