Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Randomize
