I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
