I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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