The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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