He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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