It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
