Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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