Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I think I am morally bankrupt
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
