i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
