i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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