you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
