i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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