I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
