We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
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