Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
